Why Love Hurts. A Sociological. Explanation. Eva Illouz polity The right of Eva Illouz to be identified as Author of this Work has been asserted in accordance. Why Love Hurts has ratings and 46 reviews. Faith said: I’ll be honest: I didn’t finish the book because I skimmed through the last two chapters and d. 17 Dec I read Eva Illouz’s Why Love Hurts with both personal and professional interest. As a divorced rabbi who meets with hundreds of singles and.

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She refers to many works of classical lit A great book that shows changes in the conceptualization of love – the way it was portrayed and thus experienced in the nineteenth century and in post modernity – although the author doesn’t use the term postmodernity, only modernity which I find confusing. Men have become commitment-phobes because the rise of capitalism has encouraged them to be autonomous and self-centred.

We study love as if it were botany, abandoning poetry for pathology. The purpose of this book is to change our way of thinking about what is wrong in modern relationships.

She quotes literature, as if uneasily aware that artists have done much of her sociological work before she got there. But, according to Illouz, the reason is not the rise of feminism or dysfunctional childhoods, but instead down to us having too much choice — and too many commitment-phobic men. She has published widely in families, intimacy and sexuality. One can also expect to hurtd transcripts from personal interviews and interactions on Internet dating sites within the whj.

Love hurts more than ever before (blame the internet and capitalism)

Besides, the qualities that promise dependability are rarely the same as those that dazzle. Eva Illouz takes a firm stance in her book by saying that the journey for love has agony and distress built into it, which results in the individual internalizing negative emotions on the level of anguish and despair.

Sociologists should be suspicious of explanations that a priori pathologize forms of behavior. Nonetheless, all people can build successful relationships with real commitment. What is common to theme 1 and theme 2 is that both love and psychological health constitute utopias of happiness for the modern self, that both are mediated through consumption and that both constitute horizons to which the modern self aspires.


When they become mothers, most women keep working because work has become a part of self-fulfilment and because household expenditures now demand dual income.

Jan 18, Emily Jusuf rated it it was amazing Shelves: I have no idea why this book was published with catchy title and intriguing cover; it is so densely academic and in love with its own post-structuralist critical sociological theory jargon that it was virtually unreadable — and I have a pretty high familiarity with and tolerance for post-structuralist critical theory jargon.

Book Review: Why Love Hurts: A Sociological Explanation by Eva Illouz | LSE Review of Books

Nowadays, we shy away from assigning blame in others because it would cause us to appear judgemental, but in fact, hurrs separation of ethics and the realm of dating and relationships is what’s harmful. There are many fine qualities to commend this book and it is highly readable; but there also some significant problems with the underlying argument and the way that it is advanced.

Despite the widespread and almost collective character of these experiences, our culture insists they are the result evva faulty or insufficiently mature psyches. This is a brilliant, original and beautifully written book aimed at and accessible to a general reader.

Why Love Hurts: A Sociological Explanation by Eva Illouz

Aug 09, Faith rated it really liked it Shelves: So how long can we expect it to endure in the rapidly accelerated age of texting, sexting, and tweets? Such cultural invocation might, in shy, take us closer to the goals of feminism, which have been to build ethical and emotional models ilouz with the social experience of women.

Illouz is a wonderful author who dva easily conveys her ideas to her audience and leaves no room for misinterpretation. It focuses on the ways it has changed for the worse, but simply because that is what troubles us, not as a way to claim the pre-modern ways to love were superior or more desirable. Thanks for telling us about the problem. The second process was that of the commodification of romance, the process by which the 19th-century practice of calling on a woman, that is going lovf her home, was replaced by dating: Having lost classical faith, people often seek its substitute in romance.

Aug 14, Ben McFarland rated it really liked it. As a result, Illouz claims that suffering has lost its cultural cachet in modernity.


It could be suggested also that much of therapy, self-help, and coaching culture hugts be reduced to cultural techniques to monitor choice and make decisions in an increasingly volatile market of possibilities. So in that respect women are more dependent on men and want exclusivity while men want quantity. It would be interesting to read it in the light of the Metoo campaign.

loove The problem is not dysfunctional childhoods or insufficiently self-aware psyches, but rather the institutional forces shaping how we love. Click here to cancel reply. Illouz argues that endogamy I’ll be honest: In other words, men gain more social currency by having more sexual partners for as long as possible whereas women gain social currency by creating families.

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There are almost as many books about romantic healing as there are diet books, and for the same reason. In an epigraph to one of her chapters, she quotes Julian Barnes from Love, etc.

You are currently using the site but have requested a page in the site. Description Few of us have been spared the agonies of intimate relationships. Modernity brought untold blessings to us all.

Why Love Hurts: A Sociological Explanation

For those in her target audience, namely heterosexual Western women, Illouz hurrs to offer a compelli http: To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up. The story stops before that same princess spends her days working and childrearing, and they both realize she actually prefers sleeping late to a princely, wakening peck on the cheek as the kids run off to school. We last about 18 minutes. It does, however, suggest that some of the claims being made would benefit from being tempered and, the seamlessness of the joins unpicked to include the frayed edges of complex experience which characterises lived lives.

The purpose of this book is to change our way of thinking about what is wrong in modern relationships. Perhaps the title answers itself.